Bye my 16 years old self.

I am officially 17 years old now. It is my birthday.

First, I want to share a simple message for everyone in my life.

I know that I am not that great person who cared about everyone. I know I did so many mistakes in my life. May be someone is sad because of me. I am not perfect at all but I am the human who wants to make others happy because of her. I tried as much as I can to be a good person, daughter, friend and writer. I hope that everyone on the earth is sound and safe. I have never hoped a bad thing for anyone. I just want you to forgive me if I made you upset one day accidentally.

A word to my 16 years old self.

Hanbyul, you are older now. Your days were not easy but you are better than a lot of people. Be grateful for what you have and remember that some people on earth do not have anything to make them alive. Remember that there are destitute people and homeless children. If you felt sad in anytime, just remember that there is someone who needs your help and there are some people should be proud of you. You suffered a lot and you laughed a lot. You made some achievements and you failed in many trails. Many people love you and so many people hate you. You were more independent than you thought. You did not need any one to wake you up from you anxiety or from your laziness. You were aware enough of yourself. Look at your faults and learn from it, look at your success and be proud of. You may feel useless, but you have never been worthless. Stay humble stay free.

Yourself, Hanbyul.

**Hanbyul is a nickname that my friend chose to me and it means the star which is always bright in korean language**

I will not share my achievements and failures here because I do not like sharing my personal details or my insecurities.

I can say that this blog is one of my achievements because I was very bad blogger the past few years. I think I am better now and I need to improve more. Do not you think that I am better?

I am happy that we are near to hit about 1000 view. I am proud of you guys and I am thankful to anyone read this blog.

I started this blog about five months ago. I was very hesitated about the name but everyday I feel that I was right.

Life was not made to be that hard but people make it hard.

I do not force anyone to be persuaded with my opinion. When I look at any problem in my life, I find that someone made it complicated. Everything can be solved if we took it right and in a peaceful way. Wars, starvations, poverty, murders, suicide….etc. All of that would not have existed if people had done the right things. If they thought about humanity and peace if they did not thought about rapacity, everything could be better.

Humans are always the only cause of damage.

This is just my little explanation about the name of my blog and I am proud of it. I f you have different thought, I respect you.

My little advice for you.

Be free.

-Freedom is a superb bless from god. Do not lose it in anyway. Stick to your thoughts and do not change it. Respect everyone but do not be persuaded by any thoughts that do not fit you. Do not lose your freedom to satisfy anyone else.

-people’s opinions will never define who you are. Most of the people will look at you as they look at the peel of the mango. You do not have to be yellow or green mango to be loved. You have to be your own color. When people see that you are confident in your own skin, they will respect you.

Be confident, you are worthy.

-Learn by yourself. Do not wait for anyone to teach you anything. Learn how to teach yourself and how to master things. Learn how to be the head of yourself. Create your own sources and you will never need anyone.

-Social media is poisonous. Try to reduce your usage of it. Caring about how many likes or comments you got is really useless thing. Try to share useful feed on social media and avoid being addicted.

Explore the real world even if it is bad, it will be better that a digital one.

-Your family is the most important thing. Your friends can cheat on you but parents are always honest. I know there are many bad parents but at the end you will find them standing by you.

-You will meet people in your life who will make you understand the actual meaning of friendship. Don’t lose them. You will meet people who will make you understand the actual meaning of cheating. Lose them immediately.

-LOVE YOURSELF. Treat it well and punish it when it needs to.


Thanks for everyone got into my life this year. Thanks for everyone supported me. Thanks for my parents and my friends. I am so grateful to have all of you.

Thanks for making me happier today.

The start from the end.

The end of my 16th is the start of my 17th. I just want to learn more and more, to help people as I can, to make my parents proud of me, to draw a smile on people’s face,……to be remembered.

You may tire of reality but you never tire of dreams


All my love and respect for you guys.

Stay sound and hopeful.

My parents, I am nothing without you.

Donia Thanks for being different from any friend I have ever had.

*Reem – Nadeen – Nora- Hyung …..and other people * Thanks gor being here for me today.

As usual, do not forget to check my instagram acc kenzylife


May be the last one!

Hi, Anytime you are reading this or anywhere you are. I am glad that you are here.

May be you are feeling a little confused about the title May be the last one.

Yes, it may be the last blog for a while. I am sorry that I am writing this but I actually felt confused for a couple of weeks. I do not want to stop writing because writing is one of the great things that keeps my soul alive. I am just confused about how the good writer should be and a loooooooot of things like that. I want to share positive vibes not the negative ones. The recent time I felt like I am sharing a lot of negative vibes and that is something really bad and that is why I stopped sharing my blogs (I did not stop writing ).

I know that you would think like ( Hey Kenzy, you should share your positive and negative thoughts). All of you has issues and your issues are enough for you. I do not want to make you cry or something like that. I want my writing to be a warm shelter for you.

I want to make you smile every time you hear my name.


I hate the personal talk and the sad vibes so let’s get into the chilling out mood.

I want to share an idea and a message before I leave you for a while ( I can see you when you smile because I am leaving and you hate me hhhh lol I am not leaving forever I will be back soon).

The idea

Continue reading “May be the last one!”

What is knowledge and who is cultured?

Knowledge! It is something that most of the people aim to have but do they really know what the knowledge is??

I know that it is really sensitive concept and it has a lot of arguments around it but I am telling you all of that from my opinion.

Knowledge for me is a movable concept. We can say that everything that we learn is knowledge. When you learn to cook new recipe, read in philosophy or even reading comic books; they are all knowledge. It is not always science and literature, knowledge can be in every thing.

“Knowledge is everywhere and in everyone, we are just different in our interests.”


Who is the knowledgeable cultured person?

First, I will tell you the definition of the knowledgeable cultured person in some people’s eyes.

The one who knows himself the best, speaks some languages, know a lot about physics……any science field, reads a lot of books…….etc. okay okay, that is partly wrong.

The knowledgeable cultured person can be the one who do not read or who do not know science and the one who reads sometimes can not be knowledgeable too!!!!

Continue reading “What is knowledge and who is cultured?”

Review the book sweet bitter by Stephanie Danler.

About the book/

story/ this girl who moved to New York city to start a new life and she was employed in a very famous restaurant. Then she discovered the life of New York and the people who work with her. you will see a lot of strange and weird people. you will also see the New York life.

pages/ 356

My opinion about the book/

This book for me is a great one but for the one who loves the details. The book talks a lot about the details of the life of New York city. The details of the people and wine taste. It is just so detailed but in a great way in my opinion. I am the one who really loves the details that is why I loved the book. If you don’t like details, you may be will not like this book.

“I came to love the williamsburg bridge, once I learned how to walk it”

Stephanie Danler

This quote shows how much the main character was in love with New York city .

The title sweet bitter/

I did not understand the importance of the title until I finished the book. The book started really sweet and ended like bitter. I see that it is the reality of our life. We make a lot of mistakes and the book ended with a mistake that the main character did and we have to assume that life is not always sweet or ends like that.

“Life is not always bitter and then sweet it may be sweet and then bitter.”


I know that a lot of people hated the end but I liked it because of how real it was. It describes the faults that we as humans can do. It was so real in my opinion because not all the people choose the right thing to do.

Some quotes I LOVED and my explanation to them.

” The only way to learn anything- you have to live with it”

Stephanie Danler

This quote was by the character simone and she was really strange person for me. She looks wise and very very experienced person but I saw her like weird and till the end of the book she still a weird person for me.

“Remember this, I told myself. Remember how quiet today is.”

Stephanie Danler

This quote was really great for me. specially the situation that it was said in. The main character was in bad situation or actually something was getting worse with her so she just went to the Williamsburg bridge and told herself that. I loved how peaceful was this quote.

Reminder** Whenever you feel bad and you think that everything is just getting worse. Remember that nothing will last forever.

“Yes, I felt freedom again, even if I could not quite recapture the hope”

Stephanie Danler

This was also a great one because it teaches us how to be free and feel free in our choices even if our life was damaged.

” You can get rich by making people feel good about spending their money”

Stephanie Danler

I was really curious about this quote and I think that it is completely real and right.

I think that is enough for the review. I hope you to like it and if you read it just contact me to discuss it with you.

Do not forget to check my instagram acc kenzylife

Some reading explanations

Hey guys and girls! Today I want to explain somethings about reading.

I want to start by something very important for me to explain for the one who does not mean.

If you do not like reading, that is not a shame.

A lot of people just say that they do not feel themselves in reading books…etc. That is fine, you do not have to go into the world of reading as a judgement from people that the good person is the person who reads. We are all good, we all have a good habit to make our brains more wise. You may like watching visual videos to learn and to know more. you may have different style in getting knowledge.

Be good on your own way.



you know that I am in love with reading books and I know that a lot of people do not have the habit of reading in their daily life.

when I read, I just feel like I am in other world. I feel like I am in the world that no one can annoy me. I feel free and imaginative. Reading for me is the shelter from the hard people. Reading makes me travel to any place I want.

Books are shelters and shelters are warm.


Books do not judge me, they will stay as an honest friend and they teach me how to face the world.

But a lot of people do not feel like that!!

We are humans. We do not have to have the same interests.

Reading became a very big priority in our life even that we have the internet that can give you every information you want. Reading books will still have those different feelings that will make you a different person. Books will make you quiet person but internet will make you a nervous one.

Reading does not mean a cultured person;

It depends on what are you reading. To make the books like your good friend, you have to choose right. you have to choose the right book for you. You can read all types of books to know which type is suitable for you but do not be affected by everything.

Build your own self by reading books but do not let anything to change your mind.


So do not think that the one who reads must be cultured because the cultured person has specific morals.

–Ā  I do not identify cultured people but this is just my opinion- ( May be I will discuss my opinion about the word cultured in other blog).

There are different types of readers ( cultured, nervous, sensitive……etc). Try to be the good reader.

Quality not Quantity;

I know that you heard this advice a lot but I want to say it on my own.

You do not have to read thousands of books, you just have to feel one book.


I do not mean that you have to read one book in your life. You do not have to care about the numbers of books, you have to care about how much you learn from one book. Do not look at those people who read hundreds of books every month but look at those who read books to get knowledge and experience. look at those who care about quantity.


**As an advice from me, just try reading simple articles or blogs then read short stories and small novels. You can get into the world of books. Find a simple way to read because it is really great world, Believe me.

I would like to recommend the book ( Anne of the green gables ) for you. It is one of my absolute favorite books in all times.

You can contact me anytime for anything you want. I can help you to read more. Do not hesitate to contact

This is my instagram kenzylife

Review the book (Turtles all the way down) by John green

With out further ado, This book stole my heart. I was really emotional with everything in the book.

The book talks about the girl Aza, she is a high school and she suffers from a mental health problem. The book will take you into her thoughts and everything she feels. Without any spoilers, The book will take you into her mind and how she faces the world.

My own opinion about the book,

When I started the book, I thought that I will not like it but now I am really in love with it. This book toke me to the reality of what a mental health problem means. The feelings and sufferings that those people feel. It made me feel how they struggle with their thoughts. I have been always curious about mental health and I shared some feelings with them but this book gave me an obvious look into the reality of their thoughts. I know that a lot of people feel some anxiety and other things but it is really different when you have a real mental health problem. It is not easy to deal with but it can be managed and cured.

People with mental health problems can have a normal life and no one can know that they suffer or anything like that. I really liked this point about the book because it shows the ordinary life of the main character with some struggles. The book shows her friendships, relationship…etc.

Great things I learned from the book..

-You can not have a perfect best friend, because we are humans. We are created to be perfect. All the friend have their good and bad. You have to choose people who you can bear their good and bad.

-You can not get into my mind, but you can be kind with me. At a lot of times we do not know what people think of or what are their thoughts. We do not know if the person that we talk to is happy or sad. A lot of people just hide their reality with a smile. We can be kind to all of the people because you can not almost know the reality.

-Moms are great supporters. You can have problems with your mum or you do not share the same ideas and opinions with her. Moms are the most honest thing in your world. She is the only supporter that will hope you to be good with the real honest feelings. You may do not have mum, I am really sorry for that but your mum will always be the most honest thing even if she is alive or not. Give your mom the most honest love instead of anything else.

“And the thing is, when you lose someone, you realize you will eventually lose everyone”.

John green

-Nothing last forever. We have to believe that we all change, Our lives change, our feelings change…etc

“Your now is not your forever”.

John green

-Words have a magical effect on our souls, sometimes we do not feel good but as a blogger I write what I actually feel and that makes me feel fine. Writers do not just make themselves feel fine but they also make other people feel fine. Blogs and novels have the writer’s own voice. We all have stories to tell.

“Even silence has a story to tell you”.

Jacqueline Woodson

I will talk about what I mean in the note below.

My very important note…

A lot of readers did not like the book and they thought that they just read about John green into a fictional character. Those people are not wrong and so am I. John green suffered of OCD ( A kind of mental health as I know). He may shared a lot of his feelings with the main character. For me as a John green big fan, I loved the book a lot. I felt like I heard John’s voice in this book.

You may do not know John green so you find the book uncomfortable.

We are different with different opinions. This is just my opinion about the book. you may do not like it and that does not make me wrong.

Do not forget to check my instagram acc Kenzylife

I want to nominate this great blog about mental health. I really loved it because it is really helpful.crazy little things

The unbearable mood !

To everyone in that unbearable mood.

sometimes we just feel that everything is unbearable. talking to people become an extremely heavy thing to do. chatting become a lie because you are typing those fake emotions that do not define you at all. Talks become arguments, arguments become fights. Doing your favorite sport, eating your favorite snack …everything is unbearable with no meaning.

let me tell you some reasons and solutions..

Reasons why you are into the unbearable mood,

– you stuck into the fake life. The fake life is social media. I define it with fake because there is nothing absolutely natural on it. Photos are fake with edit, people’s personalities are fake into posts, you are fake into some happy emotions and anything else is almost fake. Those people you are talking to all the day, they are not around you in the real life. when your wifi stops or you phone charge run out , you find yourself completely alone. When you try to get into the real human life, everything become unbearable. Your family and your neighbors become really strange. you feel that you lost the real life communication system.

-you chose fake friends. I talked before about the friendship in this blog

Why friendship is complex?

those friends you called when they was extremely sad, Those you bought them sweets when they were irritable, Those you cried and smiled for…They just text rarely. They do not even call for a minute. They become a lame. When you look around you, you find a lot of people who could be a real good friends but time is off.

You can not even take things back when they are gone.

-Too much caring about people. I do not mean that you have to be rude to people and not to care about them. I talk about too much caring ( self forgetting). Sometimes we spend all the day in somethings that are not related to us. watching other people’s instagram stories. Share some photos about this celebrity or that famous singer. We just care too much about a lot of things that they are not useful, they just damage ourselves. We care too much about people’s success and we do not even look at ourselves. But when we look, Everything become unbearable.

I think that is enough reasons and you can complete them as you want..

Solutions to the unbearable mood,

-Stop wasting time on the fake social media. I did not say stop using social media but addicting and overusing is not good for you. Make use of social media. Let it teach you a new language or use it to read articles about the field you like. Make your wifi a way for your cultured brain.

If you do not respond a message, the world will not explode.

-Spend time with your family. I know that most of us do not share the same ideas with our families but believe me that they are the most honest people with you. They are more honest than the people on your social media. There are a lot of bad families but in every family there are good people that you can spend time with. That will improve your mental health a lot.

-Face the outside world. I think this is the most important thing that will completely change your mode. I do not say that you have to go out and spend a lot of money to be happy. I mean that you have to go outside for a small walk with your audio book or any music you like, go to the public library and read.

simple things can make a great effect.

Go to the place that make you feel creative and productive because when you are in a productive area, that encourage you to be productive. You can also volunteer to care about homeless children or anything else.

Go outside and see how the world looks like whether it is good or bad. Go into the real life.


-Meditate. You do not have to master a yoga position or to have sessions in meditations. You can meditate by going to the roof of your house and looking at the sky for a couple of minutes without thinking about anything.

At some point in life the worlds beauty becomes enough. you do not need to photograph, paint or even remember it. It is enough.

Toni Morrison

A lot of people suffer and feel sad. Sometimes they can not complain. To everyone like that, Do not be sad and care about yourself.

We are not angels but sometimes we need to care about ourselves because no one can do.

With all my hope to you to be fine.

The next blog would have a lot of good recommendations, STAY TUNED.

Do not forget to check my instagram acc kenzylife

Review the book( Eleanor&park)by Rainbow Rowell.

To everyone in the back of the truck.

Eleanor this young girl, she was an example to a lot of girls in her teenage. She was not sure about her beauty. She was different with red hair and freckles. she was bullied somehow. The family was not perfect. she did not have a lot of friends. but she found park and everything changed.

park this young boy, who looked as Korean guy because his mother was Korean. His life was different than Eleanor. He did not have those problems that she suffered. He got into her life and changed it a lot.

In my opinion this book had showed a lot of the problems that the teenagers suffered. there are a lot of bullying inside and outside high school. Also they have a lot of problems with their parents and siblings. The problems are uncountable but the book covered some of them in a slight way.

love for teenagers, in my absolute thoughts, teenagers do not have those real love stories. They have a lot of hesitated feelings that lead them to think that they are in real love. There are some people who loved in their teenage and continued with that love to the rest of their life. But this is rare and teenage is not the suitable time for love and relationships. Teenage is the time of trying a lot of things, learning languages, practising and discovering hobbies and abilities, Having some friends, planing to the future career and uncountable things. Love is for adults but a lot of teenagers just get into relationships and break up. It is not extremely bad thing. It will add some experience to you but do not put relationships as a priority.

I do not believe that 17 year- olds get happy endings. They get beginnings.

Rainbow Rowell

somethings I learned from this book..

*some people appear in our life suddenly, but they can change it forever.

we may meet some new friends in school, neighborhood or anywhere. Those people can affect our life forever. They may do not stay forever but they may leave something inside us forever.we are like stations in other people’s lives, so we have to leave peacefully with a memorable things. Not all the people stay forever, This is life.

*you are the only one who can determine your life.

we face a lot of challenges in our life, pressure from home and school and more and more things. we become hesitated sometimes and we feel that we should die instead of living this hard life. But at the end we can determine our life. we can throw all the opinions from other people, we can throw all the pressure and decide one decision that can change everything. you think that you are weak but you are not weak. you are the only one who can determine your life.

your decisions can only determine your life, nothing else can do. It is up to you.

*Trust your beauty.

A lot of people are not sure about their looks. They think that they are not pretty enough to face the world. People can look at you with the look that make you feel that you are not perfect or you are not pretty. Believe me, No one is perfect. we are all different. You may look bad in someones eyes but there is someone that you will look perfect in his/her own eyes. But the most important thing is to look pretty and good in your own eyes.

People do not matter to you, but you matter to yourself.

stay satisfied and happy, you are precious.

yeah, this is the end of my review. I do not see cons in this book and I really recommend it. you may be do not like it, but I do.

keep readingšŸ“–

do not forget to check my instagram acc..


I will nominate this beautiful blog for you guys, A writer’s beginning

her writes are so beautiful.

I know that I was not in a good mode these days but I tried as hard as I could to make some of my friends feel good or just smile. Forgive me if I made you disappoited or sad .


when we think about anxiety, our first reaction is * people screaming all the time*. It is not like that.

Anxiety is an extreme worry that has a lot of kinds like GAD ( general anxiety disorder). People with anxiety are easily irritated . They feel worry and uncomfortable with people specially If they have ( social anxiety). Anxiety sometimes controls their reacting and their decisions. It may lead to depression and it may be resulted from depression. It is not an easy thing for them to deal with, A lot of times they need a psychiatric.

Anxiety is not an easy thing to deal with but it is not difficult if you want to be better. *It is up to you*.

How we treat people with anxiety? *The human rudeness*

people with anxiety do not act like other people a bit different and that is based in their type and level of anxiety. A lot of people are just rude to them. They try to tease them or just make them feel ridiculous.( I know that not all of the people do that). why some people are so rude to the difference?

Difference is normal but it is all about racism.

you just have to learn how to be kind because people with anxiety need normal and kind treat. you can also learn how to help them to get fine.*It is up to you*. All you need is kindness.

My message to people with anxiety…

Anywhere you are, anytime you are reading that, you are normal. Being anxious is like a gene in human beings. You do not have to feel different, you do not have to hide from people. You do not need any acceptance from people to you to live this live, you need your own acceptance.

Opinions from people do not matter to your life but your opinion matters to yours.

I know that you sometimes feel unaccepted from yourself, uncountable…etc. All of the people on the earth felt that one day, Move on. If you can deal with yourself, go to a psychiatric. It is not a shame to do that, It is like you have a cold or a cough. You may just need a little help from someone you trust or you need the help of yourself to yourself. You can live your life very normal without fears.

I will say it again and again… you are on earth for a reason, you are precious. Do not waste your time on useless things. Heal yourself.

I am not saying that just to motivate you or something like that and then return to your worries again. I am saying that because you need to feel confident.

Face the world like a hero.

I know it may be seem like a very emotional blog and I may seem like a depressed blogger but I wrote those words from my heart. I do not write about somethings I did not experience before. I hope you to understand that and to find it helpful for you.

If you want to learn more about Anxiety and psychology, visit psychology today.

I found it really helpful ( it is not sponsored).

Do not forget to check my instagram

Tell me your opinion in the comments and if you want more blogs like that.

Have a peaceful life.

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